Cultivating emotional intelligence (EQ) in your
child
by Dr Teoh Hsien-Jin
In the past, we used to think that people with high IQs will naturally
achieve greater success in life. Recently, some researchers suggest that a person's
emotional intelligence (EQ) might be more important than IQ, in predicting a person's
success in life.
What exactly is EQ? Which is more important to acquire - IQ or EQ, or both? To address
these questions and more on EQ is Dr Teoh Hsien-Jin, a Consultant Clinical Psychologist.
Dr Teoh's studies and work have taken him to Keele University, UK (B.Soc.Sci. Hons),
University of New South Wales (M.Psychol.Clinical) and the University of Western
Australia (Ph.D). His work in the medical field has found him in several hospitals
and service organisations in the UK, Malaysia, and Australia.
Recently, he was Faculty of Medicine Coordinator for the Masters of Clinical Psychology
course at the Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. In contributing to the mental
well-being of Malaysians, he was instrumental in the Ministry of Health Mental Health
campaign as National Working Group Coordinator for Children and Principal Investigator
for the Healthy Lifestyle Programme's Mental Health Research (1999-2001). At state
level, his responsibilities have involved training health care and teaching staff
in Penang, Melaka, Selangor, Kuala Lumpur and Sarawak.
His clinical, academic and research interests are on children, families and stress,
of which he has conducted extensive research and presented at numerous conferences
and public forums. In the past, Dr Teoh has also addressed and instructed at the
National Institute for Occupational Health, Malaysian Academy of Medicine, Australian
Red Cross, Sunway Group, MITD, MMI Industries, Likom, Alcom, Maxis, Siemens, Citibank,
National Evangelical Christian Fellowship, Buddhist Gem Society, Rotary International,
Lion's Club, Kiwanis, Malaysian Armed Forces, Bright Start Nutrition, Veterinary
Association and F & N Daries.
He is a regular contributor to newspapers and magazines, and is often asked to comment
on social and community issues on Television and Radio. He was formerly the Vice-President
of the Malaysian Mental Health Association (2000-2002) and Treasurer to the Malaysian
Headache Society (2000-2002). Dr Teoh is presently in private practice and when
time permits, he continues his academic work as Clinical Supervisor and lecturer
at University Kebangsaan Malaysia, and also as a visiting lecturer to CRCERT, University
of New South Wales, Australia.
Q1) What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?
A) Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is defined as the ability to understand one's behaviors
and emotions and to harness these behaviors and emotions to maximise efficiency
at home and at work.
Q2) Is EQ an inherited trait or is it learnt?
A) If EQ is linked to personality factors, then 50% of it is inherited from
parents, and the other 50% is inherited from the environment.
Q3) Which type of intelligence should parents place more emphasis
on in their children - IQ or EQ?
A) IQ mainly describes the child's ability to learn and how competent they are to
carry out academic work. On the other hand, EQ gives you the competency to get along
with people, read social situations and get things done. Thus, the emphasis on EQ
and IQ should be equal.
Q4) Why is EQ sometimes regarded more important than IQ?
A) This is a myth, and tends to occur in situations where there has been an overemphasis
on academic excellence and people have begun to value the socio-emotional aspects
of life.
Q5) Why is it important for children to cultivate good EQ?
A) So that they can learn to get along with people, and be sensitive to other
people's feelings and emotions.
Q6) When is the best time to instill good EQ in children?
A) EQ or emotional sensitivity can be instilled as long as a child can communicate
and comprehend what is required of them.
Q7) How can parents encourage their children to nurture positive
values and build self-confidence?
A) By listening, teaching skills, explaining social situations and being
role models.
Q8) What are parents' and teachers' roles in developing EQ in
children?
A)
Role of the parent
• Providing opportunities
• Be willing to listen
• Encouraging other abilities
• Have realistic expectations
• Not comparing to other children
Role of the school
• Encouraging interaction
• Teacher's modelling appropriate social behaviours
• Encouraging sensitivity
• Learning to give and take
Q9) What's your opinion of EQ tools (software, videos, books,
etc) that are sold in the market? Are they effective and necessary?
A) Every bit of information has the potential to be useful. It's potential
is maximized if the parent bothers to take the time to explain to the child what
they have been looking at or playing with. Nothing is effective if there is no guidance.
Q10) Would you say that a child with good EQ is a happy, well-adjusted
child?
A) Generally, this is the case. However, if there is too much unrealistic
pressure on the child, to perform academically, then there would be a great deal
of stress on the child.